Why Some Addicts cannot Live Normal Lives
There are many addicts who have actually become addicted to
the addiction. They have become so addicted to the addictive lifestyle that they can no
longer even survive, much less lead a “normal” life.
Often the addict becomes so accustomed to the drive
associated with addiction, that when this part of their life is removed, the
addict no longer perceives to have a reason to live, function or even get out
of bed in the morning. Without the drive of making the vast amounts of money
usually associated with a drug addiction, the addict often cannot find a reason
to do much of anything.
This phenomenon is similar to that of someone who has worked
all their life, only to go into retirement and die soon afterward for lack of
purpose.
Just as with those who retired after many years of
employment, the longer the person has been addicted the, the less probable the
addict is able to adjust to the new, “normal” lifestyle.
To compound the problem, the addict is also used to a certain
excitement and danger associated with drugs. The constant threat of being
arrested, robbed, ripped off or even killed while buying or using drugs becomes
exhilarating. This in itself becomes an adrenaline high and addiction. It make
a normal job appear boring, unappealing and pointless.
To make things worse still, when the addict thinks back about
how quickly he formerly made the considerable amount of money needed to sustain
his former habit, he is usually frustrated, angry and discouraged at what he is now supposed to be
paid for honest, legal and honorable work of his new “normal” lifestyle.
The best way to compensate for this change in lifestyle and
lack of purpose, is to find something to occupy one’s time. Just as it is best
for the retiree to find an activity or hobby, it is best for the reformed
addict to find a pastime or some other form of diversion. Naturally, it is best
for the retiree as well as the recovering addict to find something enjoyable
and fulfilling to do, so as to not be abandoned shortly.
Though it would most likely be beneficial for the recovering
addict to find gainful employment, this is often only successful in the long
term if the reformed addict likes what he or she is doing. More often than not,
if it is a menial, unfulfilling job, the addict will soon become disenchanted
and start looking for alternate ways to earn a living, pass the time and have
some fun.
These factors considered, it is usually necessary for the
addict to stet some sort of realistic long-term and obtainable short-term goals
and pursuit employment, pastimes and friendships associated with the addict’s
interests.
Even if this requires schooling, relocating and all new
friends, it may be the only way to achieve lasting success.
The addict should take whatever steps required reaching his
or her long-term goals, even if they are small and if it may take some time to
reach them, as long as some short-term goals can be reached as milestones.
The key to success and lifelong sobriety is determination.
The addict must be determined to do whatever it takes to stay clean. With this
determination everything else is possible.
The above is pretty much an account of how I was able to
overcome a 30 year addiction to drugs, including a 20 year heroin addiction. My
biggest deterrents from getting clean sooner were as I described them above. But
what saved me was alone my determination to get clean.
Determination is the key to anything and everything.
Written By: Tom Retterbush
Email: tomretterbush@gmail.com
Most of the addicts I know who've had the best success stories have used their addictive pasts as a tool for good. They do counseling, volunteer work, suicide hotlines, etc. I have self worth by doing something worthy with my rotten memories. Like a cancer patient who's looking for guidance from cancer survivors, using addicts who want to get clean respond better with other addicts who've been clean awhile. Substance abuse feels good in a desperately necessary way. Helping other basketcases crawl out of their self-hating and self-dug holes can be a new addiction to hook into; and a very satisfying one. Tons of money become less important when you help a mirror image of yourself get clean, and being a hero is surprisingly uplifting...especially if you've never experienced it.
ReplyDeleteI agree Rebecca. As you can see, I myself am doing the same thing running and writing for this site. This is also why I am so anti-AA, because they teach humility, and anonymity, where the addict will never get any recognition for his or her efforts. We need a pat on the back once in a while too.
DeleteMakes sense and in depth. I've known someone who isn't addicted to drugs or anything but with depression and that's also the excuse not to work.
ReplyDeleteYa I guess a lot of times the addiction is the reason of not doing a lot of things such as to get a real job, to have a normal life, etc.
ReplyDeleteSome addicts cannot live a normal life because they are not totally freed from drugs. They should be rehabilitated well and family's support is very important so that they will be able to bounce back and live a normal life.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with the concept of rehabilitation, I have worked for over 20 years in the field of substance misuse following a using career that was very destructive. Am I rehabilitated? I would answer NO! the fact is I was never habilitated in the first place.
DeleteAt 12 or 13, it wasn't my ambition to be an addictI was like any other prepubescent except I had no way of understanding that I was ill equiped in terms of economic status and proactive role modelling that I would not acquire skills to live hand in glove with societies requirements of me.
I believe the focus of sustainable recovery is, firstly understanding what recovery means to you.. not your drug worker, therapist, significant other, and then identifying the barriers to achieving it.From there it is up to you.
I find a lot to agree with here. I'm anti AA as it simply transfers dependency to AA. Also, I abhor the concept of once an addict always an addict, it's nonsense.
ReplyDeleteAs regards the guy who raises rehabilitation I agree there too. Rehabilitation means basically 'to return to a former state' As the guy says many users have no former state unless you intend to return a middle aged man to adolescence. Recovery is what you make it, it is what you define it to be. There are no boxes which must be ticked in order to qualify as 'In recovery' I believe it is a subjective state, primarily one no longer is a slave to problematic drug use. If that involves substitute prescribing so be it, as long as it works for the individual. Also, what the heck is a normal life anyway ? Is it prescribed, carved in stone somewhere "The Golden rules of Normality" ? I doubt it. I think the only rule regarding sustainable recovery is, 'That your concept of recovery no longer incurs harm in any way to others and gives relief from the millstone of illicit drug use and the cycle of acquisitive crime which often accompanies it. As long as these criteria are fulfilled in my book the rest is purely your own choice.
I learnt this week from an old timer that the ritual of identification as an alcoholic is not from the big book...and that the only requirement for membership is a 'desire' to stop drinking. People heal via a (sponsorship) relationship a symbiotic and healing for both parties. IE get the focus of yourself and help someone else who is symbolically you, another alcoholic.
DeleteAddiction can totally ruin a person’s life. But with right support and guidance, it’s possible to come out of it.
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I think people can come out of all types of addictions if they have enough motivation and will power!
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My friend used to be a hardcore addict but it was his self-belief that he came back to normalcy in no time. But I still agree that getting back to the normal state can be a difficult task.
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Addicts can lead a normal life only if they have a strong will power and self-control.
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Nice informative site,thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteKind of sad to me, I left NA and AA years ago. I did not stay clean, I drank almost constantly for several years. Then I returned to AA and found it terribly unfulfilling. I felt lonely. I wanted to do "normal things" - not simply go to 12 step meetings. I was also younger than everyone else, and I found it depressing to sit in circles and listen to people in their 30's, 40's and 50's talk about their challenges.
ReplyDeleteThey had lost everything, while I had never HAD anything to begin with.
I found my way with therapy (treating the underlying mental health issues) and by making friends with people who didn't really know about addiction. Without NA and AA, I no longer had an obsession with addiction. I didn't think about alcohol and drugs. I thought about events. I thought about friends. I thought about what I was cooking for dinner (cooking is now a hobby)
The transition was rough. But I am not an addict. I am no longer homeless.
Well, everything has its pros and cons, but one cannot neglect the need to detoxify the body. Using THC Detox can be helpful in eliminating the affects of drugs and get over with the withdrawal symptoms as well.
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